Initiation Rites of the Brotherhood of Odocoileus virginianus

Are deer capable of waking up in the morning feeling suicidal? Or is there some sort of deer game akin to Paperboy? Perhaps they play a game akin to the driving game whereby you gain extra points for hitting pedestrians, small children, or other moving objects. Maybe they are playing some deer version of chicken?

I ask because this morning I had a close encounter of the suicidal deer variety. The only explanation that makes any sense at all is that it was a complex hazing ritual as a prelude to initiation into the Brotherhood of Odocoileus virginianus. I imagine the roadside conversation to have gone a bit like this:

Master of Rituals (MR): Hey, man, see that huge Montana Rail Link truck coming down the highway?

Pledge Deer (PD): Wha ... ? Montana who ... ?

MR: Oh, man, you haven't even learnt to read yet! This'll be great! I'm talking about that giant thing hurtling (that means moving rapidly, plebe) down that weirdly textured path.

PD: Yeah, I can sorta see it. It's a friggin' snow whiteout though ... I can barely see anything!

MR: Alright, well, walk this way a little. Okay, see that smaller thing cruisin' along about 100 yards behind the big thing?

PD: I can see lights! Pretty lights! What's a hundred?

MR: NO!!! Do NOT look into the lights. Never look into the lights - they paralyze you and make you do stupid things.

PD: But they're so swirleeeeeeeeee ....

MR: Snap out of it! Here's whatcha do - this'll be fun. After the big thing passes, you gotta get to the other side of the weird trail before the little thing gets here. That'll prove you're cool enough to go on our big adventure this morning.

PD: Okay ... between the big thing and the little thing ... to the other side of the path. Here it comes! There it goes! Here I go!

MR: Remember, don't look at the lights!

PD: Don't look at the lights. Don't look at the lights. Don't look ... WHEEEE!!!

MR: Whoa! Brothers, come check this out! That idiot actually made it across the highway between the two vehicles. I guess that means we have to let Virgil into the club. The driver of that second car doesn't look half scared, though!

I did not hit the deer, nor did I ditch myself. Hell, I didn't even have time to think about swerving.

Seriously, though, what is up with deer pulling those kind of stunts? It's not like it could have not seen the huge Rail Link vehicle. I'm going with the secret whitetail deer fraternity explanation; you aren't allowed to move into the cool den until you pass some spectacular rite of initiation.


Thanks to Deer in the Yard for the above image.