Maybe it is the company I have tended to keep in my life, but when I think of "hair lacquered-solid", the technique that springs to mind involves diluting Elmer's glue until it will spray through a squirt bottle.
This town is just computer literate enough to be dangerous, so recurring individuals are to be represented as well-known historical persons or characters. Yes, it is a "cya" strategy, but the choice of moniker will also provide insight into that person's character.
Our story today involves two such individuals, to be known as Louise Brooks and Baroness Else von Freytag-Loringhoven. While short biographies will suffice as background knowledge of these two individuals, let it be said that the Baroness is perhaps my absolute favorite of the 1920s trust fund ex-pats. She was an absolute wild card, positively bowling over almost everyone she met. William Carlos Williams wrote rather frequently about her, most notably as a chapter in his autobiography.
Recently Louise and I were positively flabbergasted when the Baroness strolled in sporting a lacquered-solid Tammy Wynette. Once the amazed petting tapered off, BEvFL (for short) revealed her beauty secret: apple juice sprayed on the styled hair. Well, the Baroness was still sporting her festively coiffured Tammy do at the end of her shift, much to everyone's awe. For sheer staying power, however, Louise and I were unable to decide which would be better: Elmer's glue, or apple juice.
Environmental concerns aside - and as an aside, I'm having quite the time imagining what an environmentally sensitive drag queen movement would look like - which would be easier to wash out at the end of the night? Louise wondered whether synthetic versus natural hair concerns would filter into the equation. Also, while the kitchen in winter has been described by the Baroness as "hotter than the hobs of hell," would the apple juice styling be able to withstand Montana summer kitchen temperatures? Also, should the stylee (or styler, for that matter) be criminally inclined, would the fingerprint retaining quality of the glue be a deterring factor?
I think spring needs to hurry along now ... the slow season is paving the path to madness, methinks.
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