Glass Houses (and all related jazz)

The Background

Doing laundry yesterday morning involved putting up with a running dialogue about the "backwoods-ness" of Trout Creek that was taking place between a youngish couple passing through on their way home to South Dakota. Not just South Dakota, but Gary, South Dakota (population 231). The couple in question? They were the real life models for Meg and Hamilton Swan - the obnoxious, awful preppy couple - in the film Best in Show. I was a very good girl, however, and held my retorts in check all morning long.

Today, or, "How It Went Down"

I was sitting at the bar shortly after opening this morning, making out a prep list for the Baroness when in walked the terrible two-some, aka, Meg and Hamilton.

Meg: "What do you think they have for a soup today?"

Hamilton: "I don't know, probably Campbell's Chicken Noodle. Oh! Look, another poster for "The Tempest". I bet it's popular here because it's an eighteenth century Poseidon Adventure."

Meg: "Likely, but they would have to get Jeff Foxworthy to rewrite the script for them so that they would maybe be able to follow the story. Excuse me, what's the soup?"

Oh, yeah, it was war.

My reply: "If I may, "The Tempest" is completely unlike The Poseidon Adventure, or to be temporally accurate, the inverse is true, but the point remains. Likewise, you're off on the century; the play was actually written in the very early seventeenth century. Also, we prefer our Shakespearean plays in their intended meter and form, in this case neoclassical structures expressed in iambic pentameter verse. The redneck-speak version must be a South Dakota thing. As to your question, today's soup is Italian Sausage and Cheese Tortellini. Would you like a drink?"

Huh ... they left.

Then Violet Newstead (after Lily Tomlin's unflappable character in the film 9 to 5) said: "I take it they were friends of yours? Too bad they had to leave so soon. That could have been fun." This was followed by a muttered, "Jerks."

Trout Creek may only be an unincorporated census-designated place, but if you are from Gary, South Dakota, should you really be thinking that you have that much room to throw stones?!?